Day 20

The fear of failure is so mentally paralyzing.

It’s keeping me from doing what I want and growing as a person.
It is so hard to overcome, but I’m trying.
This blog really helps.

Also, the Help tab is up. If you need someone to talk to or know someone who needs help, let me know. Sometimes we just need someone who will listen. I speak Spanish, English and Portuguese.

Love and Peace,

Ellen

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Day 18

Hiding my gayness while watching Miss Universe proved to be a very hard task. The girls in my building found dozens of flaws with the contestants. All I could think was that ALL of them were gorgeous.

They still don’t suspect a thing

Peace and Love,

Ellen

Day 15

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A licensed psychologist here is advertising homosexuality as a illness and claims to have a way to correct it. They were handing out these pamphlets by my campus

The paper reads:
“Do you suspect that your daughter, sister aunt is a lesbian. Does she:

  • Have short hair?
  • Dress like a man?
  • Go out with a lot of women?
  • Have failed relationships with the opposite sex?

WE CAN HELP YOU”

Let’s see how I did on that check list:

  • Have short hair?  NOPE!
  • Dress like a man?  sometimes…I wear baseball caps and flannel
  • Go out with a lot of women? Yeah
  • Have failed relationships with the opposite sex? Yeah, but I’ve also had successful ones

Let’s see how my sister (the straightest girl I know) did on the checklist

  • Have short hair? YUP
  • Dress like a man? NO
  • Go out with a lot of women? YEAH
  • Have failed relationships with the opposite sex? HELL YEAH

She scored better than me on that…should I be worried?

I’m very offended, the DSM-V doesn’t recognize homosexuality as an illness, she should know that.

Love and Peace,

Ellen

Day 13

Latin America should follow Uruguay’s example. Their president (Mujica) gives away his presidential pay check to charity and lives out on the country side. Also they legalized gay marriage and marijuana. Why can’t the other countries do the same?

On a side note, I wish I looked like Erika Linder.
Androgyny for me is the ultimate attraction. The first time I saw a picture of Erika Linder, these were my exact thoughts: Are you a boy? Are you a girl? Doesn’t matter, you’re hot.

Love and Peace,

Ellen

Day 12

I was gone for the weekend on a camping trip with the girls of my floor. It was amazing.
It is always funny to prank the girliest girl of the bunch when you’re in the middle of the forest.

I don’t know if this is a really bad lesbian stereotype but I was the only one who knew how to start a fire. I was also the first to set up my tent. I got a lot of “Wow, you’re so good at this” from the girls, which is lovely.

One night, the question ‘what would you do if you’re roomate was a lesbian?’ came up and I was surprised that most of the girls were fine with it. One was a very religious homophobe but that’s ok because we’re not that close. There was also a few who just ignored the question and just shook it off with a “dunno”. I’m waiting until we’ve reached a point in our friendship where they can’t just delete me from their lives in order to tell them I’m gay.

Anyway, tonight we’re watching the Lion King. It’s our last weekend where we’re all totally free. After this my diet is drastically going to increase its caffeine content to accomodate all of the scale models, CAD drafts, blue prints and drawings I’ll be working on.

Here’s to Corinthian columns,

Ellen

Day 8

Today I realized that the architects in my university have HUGE egos. I was not expecting that. Did I mention I study Architecture before?

I like to pretend that I’m the lesbian version of Ted Mosby. Come to think of it:

We both found a yellow umbrella. It has pretty cool story, I’ll post it another day

Mosby1

I have a pretty awesome set of friends…and even  one that reminds me of Barney

Also this literally happened to me today when I was writing an email

Mosby2

I get this feeling a lot:

Mosby 3

Lastly,

We both just want to fall madly in love with the woman of our dreams and can’t wait for that to happen

Peace and Love,

Lez Mosby

Day 7

I accidentally enrolled in  Bio-Climatic Design which is in Italian. I was tempted to change into the class in Spanish, but the professor is amazing. He says “merda” every two seconds and his email is 0es3yolo@.com which translates to “zero stress yolo”.

I will be adding a Help tab soon in Spanish. This is in case somebody wants to contact me to search for help dealing with their feelings or they simply just need someone to talk to. I know I definitely needed someone just to hear me out a few years ago, even if it was anonymously through the phone. I searched, I searched and I searched, but Mexico only has one suicide prevention contact center with a 1 800 and when I called, a woman picked up.

She was really nice to me…until I told her I was gay 😦

What if I had been suicidal?

Love and Peace,

Ellen